I have been married for 7 years to my wonderful husband. I am a pre k teacher and have been teaching for 10 years! I am a christian and try to follow God's path in all that I do!
Brandon and I tried to concieve since February of 2007. Since July of 2008 we saw a RE to help along the process. In January of 2010 we were blessed with a beautiful daughter! We are now on roller coaster again trying to conceive number 2!!
December 2012: IUI with injectables (menopar) BFN 1/13/13
January 2012: Decide to go back to IVF. Start birth control on 1/14/2013. Consult scheduled for 1/22/13
February 18: Trial Transfer-all looks good. Estrogen is 25 February 22-Start stims: 2 vials of bravelle and 2 vials of menopar
February 25-Estrogen is 118. Keep taking some dose of stims
February 27-Estrogen is 201. 12 follicles: 6 on each side. Keep same dose of stims but add ganerlix.
March 1: Estrogen is 425. 10 measurable follies and several smaller ones.
March 3: Estrogen s 925 and 14 follies. 7 on each side. Stop taking stims. Take ganerlix at normal time. Take trigger shot at 1 am.
March 4: go to dr to see if trigger shot was absorbed...it was. retrieval tomorrow!
March 5: retrieval at 11:00 am. The retrieved 11 eggs!!
March 6: fertilization report: out of the 11 eggs 8 were mature and 7 fertilized.
March 10: embryo transfer at 7:30. Two beautiful embryos.
IVF CYCLE #1
March 2009-start taking birth control April 2009- birth control until the 19th, baby asprin, and prenatal vitamins. April 22, 2009- Ultrasound and Estrogen levels checked. No cysts found, E2 levels below 20. April 24-26- Start stims-150 of Bravelle and 75 of Menopar. April 27-Estrogen level checked. Estrogen is 65. Increase stims to 150 Bravelle and 150 of Menopar. April 29- Estrogen checked and ultrasound. Estrogen is 249. Ultrasound shows 9 follicles. Bravelle 150, Menopar 150, and Ganirelix. May 1- Estrogen level and ultrsound. Estrogen is 520. Ultrasound shows 10 follicles. Continue with Bravelle 150, Menopar 150, and Ganirelix. May 3-Estrogen is 1083. Bravelle 150, Menopar 150, and Ganirelix. May 4- Estrogen is 1,549. Trigger shot..Novarel 10,000 Units. May 5-Blood test to see if trigger shot was absorbed by my body. It was. May 6- Retrieval at 8:30. 8 Eggs retrieved. May 7- Fertilization report= out of the 8 eggs, 6 were mature, and 4 fertilized. Won't know anything else until May 9th.Start edometrium, antibiotic, medrol, and baby asprin. May 9th- Wonderful news...4 8 cell embroys!! Transfer set for May 11th at 8:30. May 11th- day five transfer- two beautiful embryos! May 18th-spotting...is this the end?? May 19th- 1st beta May 20th- beta results....105. We're PREGNANT May 21st-2nd beta= 191 May 28th- 3rd beta 2,481 June 3rd- Saw a HEARTBEAT June 8th- lot of bleeding..very scary...we still se a heartbeat! June 10th- 7 week ultrasound. Saw a heartbeat. Baby measured 6w6d. Still spotting. June 17th- 8 week ultrasound. Saw a hearbeat. Baby measured exactly 8 weeks. Still spotting June 24th- 9 week ultrasound. Heard the heartbeat for the first time. It measured 170...is it a girl?? Baby measured 9w1D. Still spotting...will this every go away?? July 1- 10 week ultrasound. Baby starting to look like a real baby..saw arms and legs and strong heartbeat. We graduated from fertility clinic...very emotional. Still spotting but the blood clot is getting smaller. RE says that it shouldn't last much longer.
My Favorite Quotes!!
"The more you are focused on time-past and future-the more you miss the now, the most precious thing there is. Life is NOW." Eckhart Tolle
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though EVERYTHING is a miracle!"
Our Journey in a Nutshell!
October 2005-Brandon gets back from Iraq! November2005-We get married..say that we won't have children for awhile. Februrary2007-Stop taking birth control pills, start trying to have a baby...thought it would be EASY!! August2007-buy a house and start remodeling it...take a break from TTC while doing the remodel. November2007-start ttc again June2008-start worrying that something may be wrong. July2008-went to RE for consultation..find good sperm count but a few problems with motility. Puts me on clomid 50 mg. Aug2008-2 follicles IUI #1=bfn September2008-Clomid 50 mg, 2 follicles, IUI #2=BFN October2008-Clomid 50 mg....Got very sick, bad virus, dyhdrated went to hospital, IUI #3 cancelled. November2008-Clomid 50 mg...1 follicle, IUI #3 BFN Call dr and he says I have to take the month off and come in for a consultation on Dec 30 to discuss next path. December2008-consultation, discuss different options, decide on IVF as our next step. They say to call when I start my period and then do Clomid challenge test. January 2009- pass clomid challenge test, IUI #4 IUI#4-BFN March 2009-start birth control and baby asprin for IVF April-birth control, baby asprin, prenantal vitamins. Stop birth control on April 19th.
We had our meeting with the Dr. today to discuss our next path. He was very informative and took a lot of time with us. He said that we could go on to injectibles with IUI and that injectibles were more natural for the body than Clomid. We talked to him awhile about the percentage rates and everything. He then brought up IVF. Brandon asked him what he would do. He said if money was no option he would go for IVF because you eliminate a lot of things that can go wrong. Unlike IUI you are putting a fertilized embryo back into the uterus. He said that with IUI we are just hoping that the eggs are perfect and that the sperm is getting to them. He said that he has done IVFs and taken the eggs out and seen that they had a hard shell...which was why IUI didn't work. He told us that we could try injectibles and then go to IVF. We told him that we wanted to do IVF next because if the injectibles didn't work we would be out of that money which could go to IVF. We are going to do the "IVF refund program". You buy 3 IVF's for the price of 2. If IVF #1 works than you essential lost money (but gained a baby!!), if IVF#2 works than you come out even, if IVF #3 works than you come out ahead. If all 3 fail than you get 75 percent of your money back. He said that if IVF 1 works than the money you lose actually goes to a couple that it didn't work for...which made me feel better. I would be happy to lose money and get a baby!! We are going to pray a lot about this while we wait for me period to come. (I've never wanted it to come before:) After it comes he will put me on the Clomid challenge test (required for the refund program). Then I will have to take birth control pills for a couple of weeks then we can get started. I guess waiting a month isn't so bad when you have been waiting 2 years. Say some prayers that we are making the right decision.
My blogger friend Erin wrote a wonderful post today. It was about the incredibly awful comments people give you when they know that you are infertile and are trying to concieve a baby. Some people have told other infertiles that I know that maybe God didn't intend for them to have children. I am so glad no one has told me this because I might fly off the handle. That is so incredibly insensitive!! She said that no one would tell someone with cancer that God must not have intended for them to live!! We just have a special problem and need help getting it fixed. It has been a miraculous journey. I have written about it before...that this journey has brought me closer to God and to my husband so I am glad that I have traveled this path. Sometimes God gives us pain so we can experience ultimate happiness and REALLY REALLY appreciate it!! Erin says it best "“I think God has singled me out for a special reason. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I’ve ever known.” That is exactly how I feel!! I am going to appreciate my baby soooo soooo much when I hold them in my arms. If this would have come easily I may have taken that for granted...but God had a plan for me!!
We had a wonderful Christmas!! On Christmas Eve at 4:00 we went to Brandon's dad's house to open presents. Then we went to his grandma's to meet the rest of the family to open more presents and eat gumbo. That night we went to my parent's house to spend the night and wait for santa:) Yes, I do still believe!! My parents still put out santa's presents during the night. It is a tradition that we all still love...even though they do make fun of me because I am 27! It makes me happy!! We woke up on Christmas morning and made breakfast. After we ate we all sat in the living room and I passed out the presents. We take turn opening...it took us from 7:30-9:30. I was so sad when it was over. Then we got ready and Brandon and I went to his other grandma's house for lunch. (His parents are seperated) We stayed there till around 1:30 and then went home and took a nap. After that we headed back to my parents for Christmas dinner. IT was a wonderful 2 days...my favorite days of the year!! Yesterday I did some major cleaning and got the house organized. Today we started helping Brandon's dad remodel his house. That is going to be a long project. Tuesday we have our dr's appointment to discuss our next plan.
Anna Kate in her mom's heels!! Brandon and his cousins with their two 90 year-old grandpas Brandon's Twin Sisters and our nieces My mom and I Santa Claus still comes if you REALLY, REALLY believe!! Me, Brandon, Luke, Mom, and Dad Christmas Dinner: prime rib, baked potatoes, asparagus, and bread! YUM
Yesterday I made gumbo for Brandon's mom, grandma, aunt, sister, her two kids, and my brother-in-law. We like to get together to open presents separate from the whole family so we can enjoy the gift giving. It was fun...it's always fun watching kids open presents:) Today we are going to his dad's house to open gifts with them and then his other grandmas to eat with the rest of the family. Then we are going to spend the night at my parents house so we will be there on Christmas morning....Santa still comes to my parents house ;) My parents even wait to put out the presents and fill the stockings while we are asleep. Then we each have a big pile of presents when we wake up. My job is to pass out the presents...I love it!! It takes like 2 hours. Brandon told me that I'm 27 and Santa shouldn't be coming anymore...I told him when we have a baby it will stop. I just love the tradition...it's so comforting!! Then we will eat breakfast and get ready. Next we have to go to Brandon's grandma's for lunch. After lunch we might take a nap then it's back to my parents to eat prime rib for supper. We have packed 2 days but it's my favorite time of the year!! I hope each of you have a wonderful holiday. I will write again after Christmas. MUCH LOVE:) Brandon and our nieces! We gave each other bags for Christmas! Now we need to take a trip!! Every year I make my mom and Brandon's mom a calendar...it's their favorite present! I made Brandon's mom a coffee mug with Emily and Anna's pic on it. Don't you love those curls!! All the presents! She was trying to sneak behind the tree and check out the presents!!
Yesterday was my family's annual "white elephant" Christmas Party. That's when you bring a gift and pick a number. YOu go in consecutive order picking gifts. YOu can either pick a present that is wrapped or steal a present from someone else. It is really fun and I look forward to it every year. It is always at my parents house so I was there all day helping them. We had a lot of fun. The hard part about being around my whole family is that I don't see them often so when I do they always say "Are you pregnant yet" "WHen are you going to have a baby". I hate those questions I want to make a shirt for those times that says "When I get pregnant I will tell you...you don't have to ask me about it!" It just makes me sad. I thought I would have a baby or be pregnant by Christmas. This is the second Christmas that I have had to deal with this. I don't even want to say "Hopefully by next Christmas I will have a baby" because I've been disappointed so many times. I can't wait for my appointment with my Dr on the 30th. I'm ready to get going again.
I haven't written because I've been so busy with work and getting ready for Christmas. Tomorrow is my last day of work and then 2 weeks off so I will start writing again. I hope all is well with everyone!!
Today my mom and I went Christmas shopping. I had a really good time. My mom and I don't shop together often, but when we do I really enjoy it. We went to eat at PF Chang's and had a great lunch. At the end the waiter brought our fortune cookies. We read the fortunes and they were the exact same!! I have NEVER gone to a chinese place and gotten the same fortune as someone I was with. It has to be a sign:) Guess what the fortune said??? "A dream you have will come true!!" Isn't that awesome!! I sure hope they come true. I had a really good day. I only have a few more presents to get. I hope everyone is having a great weekend.
I called my Dr. yesterday to let them know that I started my period. I usually go in CD1 or CD2. Well they told me that since I had done 3 IUI's and they did not work, I couldn't come this week. I would have to wait for a consultation appointment. They didn't have an opening until Dec 30th. I was so upset after I got off the phone. I didn' t have tears in my eyes after AF showed her face but I did after that call. I didn't want to have to wait I wanted to get right back on the bandwagon. It's so frustrating. Brandon and I are wondering if we should switch our Dr. They recently opened a Fertility Institute where we live and they have 7 fertility specialist that work there. We are also leaning toward IVF as our next path. We don't want to waste anymore time or money on IUI if it isn't going to work. I'm just going to pray about it and hope that God leads me in the right direction.
Well I woke up this morning and checked my temperature. It was down a few degrees so I wasn't feeling to positive. I had also been feeling like I was going to start at around 3 this morning. I went to the bathroom and sure enough AF was here!! I was feeling depressed. I stopped myself from crying and prayed and knew that God would only do this if he had a reason for it!! Then 15 minutes later my best friend called. I asked her if something was wrong because it was only 5:30 in the morning!! She told me to go outside. I went outside and it was SNOWING!! There was about 3-4 inches of snow on the ground. It has not snowed in Louisiana like this since I was around 7 years old. My school called and said that we were taking a snow day. I was so excited...I felt like a kid again!! I wanted to drop to my knees and praise God!! You see, I was suppose to start my period tomorrow but God knew that I needed something to make me happy so I started today right before I saw the amazing snow:) I am feeling soo positve right now!! I went check all the cows with Brandon and then I went to his dad's house to play with his little brother and twin sisters!! We built a tiny snowman and had snowball fights:) When Brandon gets done working in about an hour we are going to go to my dad's because its snowing a lot there. This could have been a depressing day but God showed me a rainbow...or should I say a snowbow:) YOu can never doubt him because only he KNOWS WHEN:) I will write more later!! I am going to put up a few pictures too:) Have a wonderful day!!
Several people have asked if I have taken a pregnancy test. I have decided not to. Friday I am suppose to start my period. If I don't start then I may take one on Saturday. I have taken so many and been disappointed that I just can't bare looking at another negative test. I am just going to keep praying!!!
Well at church today I felt like the preacher was talking to me!! His sermon was about Elizabeth and Zechariah and how they were barren and thought they could not bear children. He said through the whole journey they remained faithful to God. They were true to him even though in those times woman who could not bear children were thought to be cursed by God. When they thought their chances were over...they were very old... an angel came to Zechariah and told him that he would bear children. He doubted the angel and because of this his voice was taken away. Elizabeth on the other hand showed no doubt. They ended up naming the child John like the angel told them to and his voice returned for being obedient. John later became John the Baptist and lead many people to follow Jesus. God had a plan for them. He wanted them to bare a child that would bring others closer to God. He may have made them wait so long to see if they could be faithful. He may have also known that they were they were the perfect people to parent John the Baptist and did not need him to be born until years later. The Preacher said that we need to be obedient and follow Jesus. He said that God knows the right path for us and we have to believe in that. He said that Christmas was the perfect time to start doing so. I feel that through this whole infertility journey I have had to trust in God. At first I tried to make plans for God. I told him when I wanted to have a baby. I think that I went through this so I could see that God knows what is best for me. This has brought me closer to God, closer to my husband, and has brought me to know many wonderful woman also going through my same struggle. I feel that it is a blessing in disguise because I never would have learned this much or grown so much as a person if I wouldn't have gone through this journey. It is amazing what you can learn from God if you just stop and listen:)
I forgot to mention in my last post that the day I'm suppose to start my period (12th) I will be on a field trip with my pre-k class. I'm praying that it doesn't happen. It's been 9 days since my IUI. I am hoping for the best!! In a few hours I have to go with Brandon to a work Christmas party. I hope its fun...I'm really in the mood for pj's and a movie:)
I had my progesterone test yesterday. I still think that it is a waste of $90. It only says if I ovulated or not...what would I do if I didn't ovulate?? I couldn't change that now...anyway....I guess my doctor has his reasons. I got the results today. My level was 12 which means that I did ovulate. THey said to call them either when I start my period or if I don't start by the 14th. I should start by the 12th if this didn't work. I'm praying so hard!! One week down, one to go. Have a great weekend!!
Well it has been 6 days since my IUI. I haven't been able to work out since my IUI because I have had a cold and didn't feel like it. Today I was about to go work out when Brandon said he really didn't want me to. He said he didn't think bouncing around on the eliptical would be good for me right now. He said I should wait awhile. I told him his sister worked out until she was nine months pregnant. He responded with "She didn't have as much invested as we do...she didn't go through as much as us to get a baby". So I didn't go work out. I have read that you shouldn't bounce around the time time of implantation. If this IUI did work...implantation would be happening shortly. So, I will let Brandon relax and not work out for a couple of days...even though my pants are starting to feel tight:)
I hope all is well with each and every one of you:)
Well for some reason I haven't been able to post because blogger was giving me errors...who knows!! I went back to work yesterday. One of the perks of being a teacher is that you get a week off for Thanksgiving. It was perfect timing since I had 3 doctors appointments last week and an IUI. I was happy to see my class and give them hugs. They had so much to tell me:) I missed Brandon though. We spent the entire week together and I was used to being around him all day. It has been 5 days since my IUI. We are praying for a Christmas miracle. I know God is holding my baby in his arms for the perfect time. I am trying to wait patiently:) I hope everyone is having a great week!!
Well, I had my 3rd IUI today. I was worried about the timing..45 hours after the trigger shot. So even though the doctor told me to abstain from sex for 2-3 days before the IUI, I thought it would be a good idea to do it 12 and 36 hours after the shot to cover all our bases. The sperm count was still good for the IUI so it should only help things. I read a study that said that women who got IUI's 12 and 34 hours after the shot had more than twice the pregnancy success rate as those who had just had one at 34 hours or 2 at 34 and 60 hours. I hope it worked!! Keep me in our prayers:)
Today I went to the doctor. He did another ultrasound and found a follie:) It measured 22! I asked him if that was the same one he thought was 13 or if it was another one. He said it could be the 13...maybe one is hiding:) I was so happy because 2 days ago I thought this might be a busted cycle. Now we still have a chance;) You never know what God has in store for you!! So we go in Friday at 7:30 to do the IUI. I asked him why we do it so late and only do one. He said research and experience has taught him that 40-45 hours past the trigger shot is best...I'm not so sure but I guess I have to trust him. I'm praying that this is the one. I have always felt in my gut that the 3rd IUI would work. Even for the first two I didn't have much hope..I was always betting on the 3rd. We will see. Say a prayer for us:)
Today was Brandon and my 3 year anniversary. We had a good day!! We woke up late and I made pancakes and bacon. Then we lounged around for a little while. Then we went to Baton Rouge and had lunch at California PIzza Kitchen. After that we went to the movies and saw Role Models..it was corny but okay. Then we did some shopping. After that we went and had supper at Cheesecake Bistro. Then we went and got our Christmas tree. It was a great day!! I couldn't ask for a better husband:)
Well at 9:30 this morning I had a doctor's appointment. I was scheduled to have my 2nd ultrasound and trigger shot. The ultrasound didn't go as a I expected. I had a feeling that I would have 3-4 follicles this month. The doctor didn't really see anything on the right side. He went to the left and looked and looked but couldn't see the left ovary. So he tried the ultrasound on top the stomach and saw half of the ovary and a follicle that measured 13. He also saw some fluid in my uterus so he said I may have already ovulated. He told me that they would draw blood and see what my levels were. If I was ovulating then I could try naturally tonight and hope for the best. If it didn't work then call them when my period started and they would do the ultrasound sooner next month. I was so upset when I left the office. I stopped myself from crying and told myself that everything God does is for a purpose and he knows what's best for me. THe doctor just called back with my results and said that I had not ovulated but my estrogen levels were 211 which indicated that I did have at least one follicle. She said that I was scheduled to go back on Wednesday to see if the 13 had grown. I'm hoping for the best. Say a prayer for me!! Also, when I walked in the doctor's office I saw a girl that I know. It was shocking because she had been telling me that she didn't know when she wanted to have kids. She asked me to please not tell anyone that she was there. She said that she had done 3 IUI's that were unsuccessful and had recently done a laproscopy and found endometriosis. They had taken it out and she was there for her post-op. It's so weird finding out someone else you know is going through the same thing but keeping it to themselves. It makes you wonder if there are more people that you know going through the same thing.
Keep us in your prayers. I am praying that this month still has a chance!!
Well I had my HSG this morning. I got there at 6:50 and there was already someone ahead of me. At around 7:20 they brought me into the room. My procedure was suppose to start at around 7:35. The doctor was late because one of her patients had an emergency this morning at 7:30. She got there around 8:00. The only thing that really hurt was when she blew up the balloon on the end of the catheter. I had to squeeze Brandon's hand really tight:) That only lasted a minute though and then it was fine. The put the dye in and everything looked great...no blockages or fibroids!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!! I feel so blessed and thankful. Afterward they told me that this is a great test to help you get pregnant...it removes microscope things that could be preventing pregnancy. Within 3 months of the procedure pregnancy rates go up around 20-30%. I am very hopeful for my IUI next week!! I hope everyone has a wonderful day:)
Well, tomorrow is my HSG! It's bright and early...we have to be there at 7:00. It takes us about 45 minutes to get there so we will be leaving at around 6:00. I hope everything goes alright and its just what I need to make this IUI successful. Keep me in your prayers!!! I am also hoping that I'm one of the people that has little or no pain from the procedure. I'll let everyone know when I get home. I took the whole day off so that I could rest afterward. This cycle has perfect timing because next week I am off of work for Thanksgiving break. I will not have to take off for my second ultrasound/trigger shot or my IUI. YEAH!!!
11/15 start clomid CD4-8 11/17 start taking antibiotics 11/18 Have HSG test perfomed 11/24 CD 13 get ultrasound and HCG shot 11/26 IUI
I am going to ask the RE if he can perform 2 IUI's this month...I think we have been missing it because we have been doing the IUI's almost 48 hours after the shot. I have read that 36 hours works the best. We will see what he says.
Well it's day 5 of my 3rd cycle. I'm so nervous about this cycle since the doctor told me if this one doesn't work we will have a lot of decisions to make. I want this one to work so badly...I don't want to have to go through IVF. My friend went to the same RE as me and she ended up doing 6 IUI's. The 6th try finally worked. I'm not sure if we would keep trying with IUI's or go to IVF. That's a big decision to make. I know that God will be by me every step of the way, holding my hand, so that makes it a little easier! I am praying that he thinks this month is the right time. I have been having twins on my mind a lot lately. I have a feeling that if this one works it will be twins. I hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday. I am going to go and get ready for church.
Well I decided to take the Prometrium. I guess I really didn't need to though because I started the next day. Yesterday was offically day 1 of my cycle so I don't have to take the Prometrium anymore. I went to the Dr. today. He did an ultrasound and everything looked fine so we are starting clomid on Saturday. Tuesday I will be doing my HSG (dye test) to see if anything is blocked. If everything looks good I will have the IUI the day before Thanksgiving! If it works that would really be something to be thankful for!!! I am hoping that it works...I have always felt that it would take 3 IUI's to do the job. I'm leaving it in God's hands..only he knows when:)
Well yesterday I went to the doctor to get blood work done. I got the call today saying that it came back negative. They gave me a prescription for prometrium to make my period start. I am hesitant to take it because I have NEVER missed my period....half of me wants mother nature to take its course and the other half wants to get started with the next cycle. This is sooo frustrating!!
It's been 45 days since my last period!! That is the longest I've EVER gone. I took another pregnancy test and it was negative. Of course I spent the whole morning googling if I could still be pregnant:) The Internet makes me obsess way too much!! I am going to call my RE tomorrow and see what he thinks. Usually I would have went in by day 31 if I wouldn't have had my period but since I didn't have the IUI this month...I was trying to wait and see. I did take Clomid though so it was suppose to make me ovulate and regulate me....this is so frustrating. I want to be pregnant sooooo bad. I guess I will have to wait and see!!
Well it's been 40 days since my last period. I'm still getting negative pregnancy tests. My doctor told me when I first started fertility treatments that Clomid would regulate my cycle. Well even though I didnt do the IUI this month...I still took the Clomid....so I thought my cycle would be on schedule. I've read about people who have taken weeks to get a positive pregnancy test so I still have a small glimmer of hope....but it is fading every time I get a negative test. If I'm not pregnant I wish my period would start so I could get started on my next IUI cycle. I have always had a good feeling about cycle #3. Ever since the beginning I didn't think it would work until the 3rd try. So I hope I am right!!! Keep us in your prayers. Also, pray for my husband. He was suppose to be out of the national guard but he made stop loss. It's when your unit is scheduled to go to Iraq and they make you go even though your enlistment is over. (They made a movie about it). He has been trying to get out on a medical discharge because he has a rare form of arthritis that causes him extreme pain. The VA doctor called yesterday and told him that he didn't qualify for a medical discharge. He is going to fight it....he could not handle another tour of duty in the condition that he is in. So I am asking for your prayers...this is my top priority on my prayer list...even before a baby that I desperately want.
My blogger friend Beth went in for her 9week ultrasound and found that the baby had stopped growing. I am asking that you pray for her! She went through infertility troubles for 18 months and now has to deal with this loss. She is going through my worse fear. My heart breaks for her. She needs your prayers right now so that she will be able to get through this.
I haven't written in almost a month...mostly because I took the month off from fertility treatments and was enjoying not thinking about it. It was so relaxing not have to worry about dr's appointments, schedules, etc. Now I am back to worrying though....It's been 37 days since my last period. I took Clomid this month but didn't have my IUI because I was sick. I thought Clomid was suppose to make your period be on schedule??? Has this happen to anyone? I have taken four prenancy test...all negative..though I am still hopeful. It would be so wonderful for it to have worked on our month off!! If I'm not pregnant, I wish my period would hurry up and start so that I can get going on my next IUI. My best friend is 2 months pregnant and I would really love to be pregnant with her. All I can do is keep praying and leave it in God's hands...only he knows when!!
Well I have been sick for a week. I had a virus and fever for seven days. The fever would be gone in the mornings but would come back full force in the evening. On Wednesday night I had to go to the hospital because my fever was 103.3 and I was dehydrated. They gave me an IV and I felt much better. I finally started feeling better yesterday evening...YEAH!!! Since I was sick at the beginning of this cycle for so long I decided to take a break this month from doing an IUI. I think it was a sign from God that my body needed a break. We will start everything again next month. For now it feels good to rest:)
I just got back from the RE's office. My temp went back up to 100.7 today so they made me leave work. I went straight to the Dr's office and he told me to take tylenol. He said if I don't feel better by tomorrow then I should take the month off from trying to concieve. If I don't take the month off he wants me to go in for a Hysterosalpingography (run dye through your fallopian tubes to see if they are blocked). HE said that he wants to do this because we had 2 eggs both months that we tried and enough sperm so we should have gotten pregnant by now. He wants to make sure I don't have blocked tubes and he said even if I don't, the procedure will increase my chances anyway. Has anyone ever done one of these procedures? I cried on the way home because it will cost us $800 more this month to do the procedure. Everything else already totals up to 1200 so that will be 2000. My parents said they would help me. I knew they would, but I hate to ask them money. I'm no longer their responsiblity...I feel so quilty asking them for money. I love them with all my heart and I know they love me with all their heart and they would do anything for me. It still feels bad asking them to help me when I am usually so responsible and independent. It is so frustrating that we have to go through this to have a baby. When I get to heaven the first thing I will ask God is why he gives people who have abortions babies and makes it so hard for people who really want a baby. I know I shouldn't judge...and everthing has a purpose, but some days are harder than others!! I am praying that God makes me strong and helps me patiently wait out his plan.
Well I started my period on Friday....it was heavy for a few hours (which is unusual for Day 1). The next day my period was light which I thought was weird because I am usually heaviest on Day 2. Saturday night I started to feel really bad...body aches, fever 101.5, etc. Today my period is pretty much nonexistent. I still have a fever of 101.5 and my body feels unbelievably sore!! Should I be worried about this. My DH told me to call our RE but it is Sunday so he only takes emergency calls...I don't think this is an emergency. I have an appointment with him tomorrow. Has anyone ever experienced this?
Well I called the doctor and I have an appointment on Monday at 4. I feel like an old pro at this. I am going to ask him if there is anything different I can do like back to back IUI's. I think we must be timing it wrong or something. We have had 2 good follicles both times and 34 million sperm...so what is the problem???? I think if we did the IUI the day after the trigger shot in addition to two days after it would help out a lot!! Has anyone done 2? I am also wondering if I should be taking more than 50 mg of Clomid. My husband said I shouldnt take more since I am making 2 follicles a month...but more than 2 might help. I am just praying that this is the month. This entire process I have had a feeling that I wouldn't get pregnant with the 1st or 2nd IUI. I have always had the feeling that it would take 3...is that weird? I hope my feeling is right. One of my oldest and dearest friends found out that she was pregnant this week. I was hoping that I would be on the exact track as her. I mean who wouldn't want to have the same due date as one of their best friends? I am so happy for her. She had a miscarriage in April and has been trying as long as us to conceive. I hope I am soon to follow so we can share in this experience. Keep those prayers coming my way:) Thank you God for all the blessings in my life!!
Well, I started! I am okay though. I cried a little when I saw my friend who is also going through this. She talked to me about it and it made me feel better because I know that she COMPLETELY understands. I feel that I have gotten so much out of this experience, even though it has been the hardest thing I've ever been through. No, I take that back...Brandon being in Iraq was the hardest thing for me. So since I've been through the hardest thing in my life...I will just take this as a learning exprience. From this experience I have gotten closer to people that I know who have also been through this. I have gotten much, much closer to God. I have become stronger. I have learned to value Brandon and I's relationship so much more. I have looked at the true blessings in my life. All of these things have made me a better person. So I am thankful for this time because I know God has a reason for it. I will one day know what that is...for now I will sit back and enjoy the blessings that I do have. I will also sing "Bring the rain"..........
My blogger friend Elaine always has such powerful insight into God's plan for us. She is also going through the trials of infertility. She states:
Jeremiah 29:11. The devotion was about God's Plans for our lives. There were three main points. 1. In times of trials in our life, we discover how faithful God is. 2. God knows what we can handle. 3. He will "make a way" so we can exit this season of our life stronger, and ready for what He has next. The fact that we have a problem is a sign that we also have a promise! It's only a matter of time before God reveals the solution.
It's been 13 days since my 2nd IUI. Last month I spotted on day 14 and started my period on day 14....so we'll see. I'm trying not to get my hopes up but I want to be pregnant so bad. I know every situation is one that we needed to be in at the time and the outcome always benefits us in the long run. I'm hoping that God thinks I've learned enough and he is ready for me to have a baby. If he thinks I still have more to learn than I will pray about it and try to be strong:)
It has been 12 days since my IUI....the count is on. Will Friday be a good day (no period) or a bad day (period)? Only God knows so I am trying to let it go...
I just had a wonderful talk with one of my best friends. She is also trying to concieve. Our cycle is almost exactly the same. It would be so wonderful if we were both pregnant this month....something I always hoped for. It would be wonderful to share that experience with her!! All I can do is pray that God knows the right time for both of us.
My other email friend found out she was pregnant today!!! We had our IUI's 4 days apart. I am so excited for her. She has been praying for this for so long. It made me realize that IUI's do work, sometimes it just takes time.
I am going to work out and destress....more tomorrow!!
I found this while reading an amazing blog entitled Bring the Rain!! It is such a powerful poem! I hope it gives you as much comfort as it gives me.
"Bring me joy, bring me peace Bring the chance to be free Bring me anything that brings your glory And I know there'll be days When this life brings me pain But if that's what it takes to praise You Jesus, bring the rain" Mercy Me, "Bring the Rain"
Still waiting!! It has been 11 days. We should know by Friday if we are pregnant or not. Only God knows. I cannot change the outcome so I am thinking positve and believing in his plan!
Today was really good. I didn't think about the outcome hardly at all. My pre k class did really well today which made it so much more enjoyable:) I got home from work early and cooked spaghetti and meatballs. While it was cooking I worked out and watched a movie with Brandon. I am ready to relax and watch all our favorite Monday night shows!! It has been a great day:)
I am also excited about one of my blogger friends because she may be pregant. We had our IUI's 4 days apart. I have been praying for her and I hope this is her month!!!
Well it has been 10 days since my second IUI. I am patiently waiting for the two weeks to end:) I know in my heart that only God knows when I should concieve a child. It has still been hard struggling with the disappoint that every month brings. Each month you hope for it to be the right time and your heart breaks when it isn't. I have 4 more days to wait to see if this month will be a celebration or another heartache. We will see what happens.... I have to go to a wedding shower after church today. I hope it goes well for the bride. She has been disappointed lately because her reception hall is no longer available and her wedding is in a week. I hope it all works out for her. We also have the insurance agent coming to our house today to see how much damage we had from the hurricane. Hopefully we will get enough money to get a new roof. My parents are on their way to Colorado to visit my grandparents. I am praying that they have a safe trip. I always miss them on Sunday because it is my day to visit them.