I have been married for 7 years to my wonderful husband. I am a pre k teacher and have been teaching for 10 years! I am a christian and try to follow God's path in all that I do!
Brandon and I tried to concieve since February of 2007. Since July of 2008 we saw a RE to help along the process. In January of 2010 we were blessed with a beautiful daughter! We are now on roller coaster again trying to conceive number 2!!
December 2012: IUI with injectables (menopar) BFN 1/13/13
January 2012: Decide to go back to IVF. Start birth control on 1/14/2013. Consult scheduled for 1/22/13
February 18: Trial Transfer-all looks good. Estrogen is 25 February 22-Start stims: 2 vials of bravelle and 2 vials of menopar
February 25-Estrogen is 118. Keep taking some dose of stims
February 27-Estrogen is 201. 12 follicles: 6 on each side. Keep same dose of stims but add ganerlix.
March 1: Estrogen is 425. 10 measurable follies and several smaller ones.
March 3: Estrogen s 925 and 14 follies. 7 on each side. Stop taking stims. Take ganerlix at normal time. Take trigger shot at 1 am.
March 4: go to dr to see if trigger shot was absorbed...it was. retrieval tomorrow!
March 5: retrieval at 11:00 am. The retrieved 11 eggs!!
March 6: fertilization report: out of the 11 eggs 8 were mature and 7 fertilized.
March 10: embryo transfer at 7:30. Two beautiful embryos.
IVF CYCLE #1
March 2009-start taking birth control April 2009- birth control until the 19th, baby asprin, and prenatal vitamins. April 22, 2009- Ultrasound and Estrogen levels checked. No cysts found, E2 levels below 20. April 24-26- Start stims-150 of Bravelle and 75 of Menopar. April 27-Estrogen level checked. Estrogen is 65. Increase stims to 150 Bravelle and 150 of Menopar. April 29- Estrogen checked and ultrasound. Estrogen is 249. Ultrasound shows 9 follicles. Bravelle 150, Menopar 150, and Ganirelix. May 1- Estrogen level and ultrsound. Estrogen is 520. Ultrasound shows 10 follicles. Continue with Bravelle 150, Menopar 150, and Ganirelix. May 3-Estrogen is 1083. Bravelle 150, Menopar 150, and Ganirelix. May 4- Estrogen is 1,549. Trigger shot..Novarel 10,000 Units. May 5-Blood test to see if trigger shot was absorbed by my body. It was. May 6- Retrieval at 8:30. 8 Eggs retrieved. May 7- Fertilization report= out of the 8 eggs, 6 were mature, and 4 fertilized. Won't know anything else until May 9th.Start edometrium, antibiotic, medrol, and baby asprin. May 9th- Wonderful news...4 8 cell embroys!! Transfer set for May 11th at 8:30. May 11th- day five transfer- two beautiful embryos! May 18th-spotting...is this the end?? May 19th- 1st beta May 20th- beta results....105. We're PREGNANT May 21st-2nd beta= 191 May 28th- 3rd beta 2,481 June 3rd- Saw a HEARTBEAT June 8th- lot of bleeding..very scary...we still se a heartbeat! June 10th- 7 week ultrasound. Saw a heartbeat. Baby measured 6w6d. Still spotting. June 17th- 8 week ultrasound. Saw a hearbeat. Baby measured exactly 8 weeks. Still spotting June 24th- 9 week ultrasound. Heard the heartbeat for the first time. It measured 170...is it a girl?? Baby measured 9w1D. Still spotting...will this every go away?? July 1- 10 week ultrasound. Baby starting to look like a real baby..saw arms and legs and strong heartbeat. We graduated from fertility clinic...very emotional. Still spotting but the blood clot is getting smaller. RE says that it shouldn't last much longer.
My Favorite Quotes!!
"The more you are focused on time-past and future-the more you miss the now, the most precious thing there is. Life is NOW." Eckhart Tolle
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though EVERYTHING is a miracle!"
Our Journey in a Nutshell!
October 2005-Brandon gets back from Iraq! November2005-We get married..say that we won't have children for awhile. Februrary2007-Stop taking birth control pills, start trying to have a baby...thought it would be EASY!! August2007-buy a house and start remodeling it...take a break from TTC while doing the remodel. November2007-start ttc again June2008-start worrying that something may be wrong. July2008-went to RE for consultation..find good sperm count but a few problems with motility. Puts me on clomid 50 mg. Aug2008-2 follicles IUI #1=bfn September2008-Clomid 50 mg, 2 follicles, IUI #2=BFN October2008-Clomid 50 mg....Got very sick, bad virus, dyhdrated went to hospital, IUI #3 cancelled. November2008-Clomid 50 mg...1 follicle, IUI #3 BFN Call dr and he says I have to take the month off and come in for a consultation on Dec 30 to discuss next path. December2008-consultation, discuss different options, decide on IVF as our next step. They say to call when I start my period and then do Clomid challenge test. January 2009- pass clomid challenge test, IUI #4 IUI#4-BFN March 2009-start birth control and baby asprin for IVF April-birth control, baby asprin, prenantal vitamins. Stop birth control on April 19th.
We had our meeting with the Dr. today to discuss our next path. He was very informative and took a lot of time with us. He said that we could go on to injectibles with IUI and that injectibles were more natural for the body than Clomid. We talked to him awhile about the percentage rates and everything. He then brought up IVF. Brandon asked him what he would do. He said if money was no option he would go for IVF because you eliminate a lot of things that can go wrong. Unlike IUI you are putting a fertilized embryo back into the uterus. He said that with IUI we are just hoping that the eggs are perfect and that the sperm is getting to them. He said that he has done IVFs and taken the eggs out and seen that they had a hard shell...which was why IUI didn't work. He told us that we could try injectibles and then go to IVF. We told him that we wanted to do IVF next because if the injectibles didn't work we would be out of that money which could go to IVF. We are going to do the "IVF refund program". You buy 3 IVF's for the price of 2. If IVF #1 works than you essential lost money (but gained a baby!!), if IVF#2 works than you come out even, if IVF #3 works than you come out ahead. If all 3 fail than you get 75 percent of your money back. He said that if IVF 1 works than the money you lose actually goes to a couple that it didn't work for...which made me feel better. I would be happy to lose money and get a baby!! We are going to pray a lot about this while we wait for me period to come. (I've never wanted it to come before:) After it comes he will put me on the Clomid challenge test (required for the refund program). Then I will have to take birth control pills for a couple of weeks then we can get started. I guess waiting a month isn't so bad when you have been waiting 2 years. Say some prayers that we are making the right decision.
My blogger friend Erin wrote a wonderful post today. It was about the incredibly awful comments people give you when they know that you are infertile and are trying to concieve a baby. Some people have told other infertiles that I know that maybe God didn't intend for them to have children. I am so glad no one has told me this because I might fly off the handle. That is so incredibly insensitive!! She said that no one would tell someone with cancer that God must not have intended for them to live!! We just have a special problem and need help getting it fixed. It has been a miraculous journey. I have written about it before...that this journey has brought me closer to God and to my husband so I am glad that I have traveled this path. Sometimes God gives us pain so we can experience ultimate happiness and REALLY REALLY appreciate it!! Erin says it best "“I think God has singled me out for a special reason. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I’ve ever known.” That is exactly how I feel!! I am going to appreciate my baby soooo soooo much when I hold them in my arms. If this would have come easily I may have taken that for granted...but God had a plan for me!!
We had a wonderful Christmas!! On Christmas Eve at 4:00 we went to Brandon's dad's house to open presents. Then we went to his grandma's to meet the rest of the family to open more presents and eat gumbo. That night we went to my parent's house to spend the night and wait for santa:) Yes, I do still believe!! My parents still put out santa's presents during the night. It is a tradition that we all still love...even though they do make fun of me because I am 27! It makes me happy!! We woke up on Christmas morning and made breakfast. After we ate we all sat in the living room and I passed out the presents. We take turn opening...it took us from 7:30-9:30. I was so sad when it was over. Then we got ready and Brandon and I went to his other grandma's house for lunch. (His parents are seperated) We stayed there till around 1:30 and then went home and took a nap. After that we headed back to my parents for Christmas dinner. IT was a wonderful 2 days...my favorite days of the year!! Yesterday I did some major cleaning and got the house organized. Today we started helping Brandon's dad remodel his house. That is going to be a long project. Tuesday we have our dr's appointment to discuss our next plan.
Anna Kate in her mom's heels!! Brandon and his cousins with their two 90 year-old grandpas Brandon's Twin Sisters and our nieces My mom and I Santa Claus still comes if you REALLY, REALLY believe!! Me, Brandon, Luke, Mom, and Dad Christmas Dinner: prime rib, baked potatoes, asparagus, and bread! YUM
Yesterday I made gumbo for Brandon's mom, grandma, aunt, sister, her two kids, and my brother-in-law. We like to get together to open presents separate from the whole family so we can enjoy the gift giving. It was fun...it's always fun watching kids open presents:) Today we are going to his dad's house to open gifts with them and then his other grandmas to eat with the rest of the family. Then we are going to spend the night at my parents house so we will be there on Christmas morning....Santa still comes to my parents house ;) My parents even wait to put out the presents and fill the stockings while we are asleep. Then we each have a big pile of presents when we wake up. My job is to pass out the presents...I love it!! It takes like 2 hours. Brandon told me that I'm 27 and Santa shouldn't be coming anymore...I told him when we have a baby it will stop. I just love the tradition...it's so comforting!! Then we will eat breakfast and get ready. Next we have to go to Brandon's grandma's for lunch. After lunch we might take a nap then it's back to my parents to eat prime rib for supper. We have packed 2 days but it's my favorite time of the year!! I hope each of you have a wonderful holiday. I will write again after Christmas. MUCH LOVE:) Brandon and our nieces! We gave each other bags for Christmas! Now we need to take a trip!! Every year I make my mom and Brandon's mom a calendar...it's their favorite present! I made Brandon's mom a coffee mug with Emily and Anna's pic on it. Don't you love those curls!! All the presents! She was trying to sneak behind the tree and check out the presents!!
Yesterday was my family's annual "white elephant" Christmas Party. That's when you bring a gift and pick a number. YOu go in consecutive order picking gifts. YOu can either pick a present that is wrapped or steal a present from someone else. It is really fun and I look forward to it every year. It is always at my parents house so I was there all day helping them. We had a lot of fun. The hard part about being around my whole family is that I don't see them often so when I do they always say "Are you pregnant yet" "WHen are you going to have a baby". I hate those questions I want to make a shirt for those times that says "When I get pregnant I will tell you...you don't have to ask me about it!" It just makes me sad. I thought I would have a baby or be pregnant by Christmas. This is the second Christmas that I have had to deal with this. I don't even want to say "Hopefully by next Christmas I will have a baby" because I've been disappointed so many times. I can't wait for my appointment with my Dr on the 30th. I'm ready to get going again.
I haven't written because I've been so busy with work and getting ready for Christmas. Tomorrow is my last day of work and then 2 weeks off so I will start writing again. I hope all is well with everyone!!
Today my mom and I went Christmas shopping. I had a really good time. My mom and I don't shop together often, but when we do I really enjoy it. We went to eat at PF Chang's and had a great lunch. At the end the waiter brought our fortune cookies. We read the fortunes and they were the exact same!! I have NEVER gone to a chinese place and gotten the same fortune as someone I was with. It has to be a sign:) Guess what the fortune said??? "A dream you have will come true!!" Isn't that awesome!! I sure hope they come true. I had a really good day. I only have a few more presents to get. I hope everyone is having a great weekend.
I called my Dr. yesterday to let them know that I started my period. I usually go in CD1 or CD2. Well they told me that since I had done 3 IUI's and they did not work, I couldn't come this week. I would have to wait for a consultation appointment. They didn't have an opening until Dec 30th. I was so upset after I got off the phone. I didn' t have tears in my eyes after AF showed her face but I did after that call. I didn't want to have to wait I wanted to get right back on the bandwagon. It's so frustrating. Brandon and I are wondering if we should switch our Dr. They recently opened a Fertility Institute where we live and they have 7 fertility specialist that work there. We are also leaning toward IVF as our next path. We don't want to waste anymore time or money on IUI if it isn't going to work. I'm just going to pray about it and hope that God leads me in the right direction.
Well I woke up this morning and checked my temperature. It was down a few degrees so I wasn't feeling to positive. I had also been feeling like I was going to start at around 3 this morning. I went to the bathroom and sure enough AF was here!! I was feeling depressed. I stopped myself from crying and prayed and knew that God would only do this if he had a reason for it!! Then 15 minutes later my best friend called. I asked her if something was wrong because it was only 5:30 in the morning!! She told me to go outside. I went outside and it was SNOWING!! There was about 3-4 inches of snow on the ground. It has not snowed in Louisiana like this since I was around 7 years old. My school called and said that we were taking a snow day. I was so excited...I felt like a kid again!! I wanted to drop to my knees and praise God!! You see, I was suppose to start my period tomorrow but God knew that I needed something to make me happy so I started today right before I saw the amazing snow:) I am feeling soo positve right now!! I went check all the cows with Brandon and then I went to his dad's house to play with his little brother and twin sisters!! We built a tiny snowman and had snowball fights:) When Brandon gets done working in about an hour we are going to go to my dad's because its snowing a lot there. This could have been a depressing day but God showed me a rainbow...or should I say a snowbow:) YOu can never doubt him because only he KNOWS WHEN:) I will write more later!! I am going to put up a few pictures too:) Have a wonderful day!!
Several people have asked if I have taken a pregnancy test. I have decided not to. Friday I am suppose to start my period. If I don't start then I may take one on Saturday. I have taken so many and been disappointed that I just can't bare looking at another negative test. I am just going to keep praying!!!
Well at church today I felt like the preacher was talking to me!! His sermon was about Elizabeth and Zechariah and how they were barren and thought they could not bear children. He said through the whole journey they remained faithful to God. They were true to him even though in those times woman who could not bear children were thought to be cursed by God. When they thought their chances were over...they were very old... an angel came to Zechariah and told him that he would bear children. He doubted the angel and because of this his voice was taken away. Elizabeth on the other hand showed no doubt. They ended up naming the child John like the angel told them to and his voice returned for being obedient. John later became John the Baptist and lead many people to follow Jesus. God had a plan for them. He wanted them to bare a child that would bring others closer to God. He may have made them wait so long to see if they could be faithful. He may have also known that they were they were the perfect people to parent John the Baptist and did not need him to be born until years later. The Preacher said that we need to be obedient and follow Jesus. He said that God knows the right path for us and we have to believe in that. He said that Christmas was the perfect time to start doing so. I feel that through this whole infertility journey I have had to trust in God. At first I tried to make plans for God. I told him when I wanted to have a baby. I think that I went through this so I could see that God knows what is best for me. This has brought me closer to God, closer to my husband, and has brought me to know many wonderful woman also going through my same struggle. I feel that it is a blessing in disguise because I never would have learned this much or grown so much as a person if I wouldn't have gone through this journey. It is amazing what you can learn from God if you just stop and listen:)
I forgot to mention in my last post that the day I'm suppose to start my period (12th) I will be on a field trip with my pre-k class. I'm praying that it doesn't happen. It's been 9 days since my IUI. I am hoping for the best!! In a few hours I have to go with Brandon to a work Christmas party. I hope its fun...I'm really in the mood for pj's and a movie:)
I had my progesterone test yesterday. I still think that it is a waste of $90. It only says if I ovulated or not...what would I do if I didn't ovulate?? I couldn't change that now...anyway....I guess my doctor has his reasons. I got the results today. My level was 12 which means that I did ovulate. THey said to call them either when I start my period or if I don't start by the 14th. I should start by the 12th if this didn't work. I'm praying so hard!! One week down, one to go. Have a great weekend!!
Well it has been 6 days since my IUI. I haven't been able to work out since my IUI because I have had a cold and didn't feel like it. Today I was about to go work out when Brandon said he really didn't want me to. He said he didn't think bouncing around on the eliptical would be good for me right now. He said I should wait awhile. I told him his sister worked out until she was nine months pregnant. He responded with "She didn't have as much invested as we do...she didn't go through as much as us to get a baby". So I didn't go work out. I have read that you shouldn't bounce around the time time of implantation. If this IUI did work...implantation would be happening shortly. So, I will let Brandon relax and not work out for a couple of days...even though my pants are starting to feel tight:)
I hope all is well with each and every one of you:)
Well for some reason I haven't been able to post because blogger was giving me errors...who knows!! I went back to work yesterday. One of the perks of being a teacher is that you get a week off for Thanksgiving. It was perfect timing since I had 3 doctors appointments last week and an IUI. I was happy to see my class and give them hugs. They had so much to tell me:) I missed Brandon though. We spent the entire week together and I was used to being around him all day. It has been 5 days since my IUI. We are praying for a Christmas miracle. I know God is holding my baby in his arms for the perfect time. I am trying to wait patiently:) I hope everyone is having a great week!!