A few hours ago I wrote that I was sad that I had no embryos to freeze. I'm still in awe of that. I find it hard to believe that 5 embryos looked good yesterday and none looked good today. I will leave that to God though.
As I sit here by myself on the couch watching tv (something that rarely happens these days), I have lots of time to think. Isn't it amazing that so many people get pregnant every day and go about their business like it's nothing. They never have to worry about the two week wait, they never have to go through fertility treatments, they never worry about miscarriage. That's sooo foreign to me. Infertility makes pregnancy such a gift but also such a worry. It makes you constantly worry about every twitch, symptom, pain, etc. It makes you pray every minute that you get a healthy baby. When you do it's such a gift and you get so mad at those people who take it for granted. I have always said that when I get to heaven I will ask God why people who want babies have a hard time and people who don't conceive them easily.
I also know that this is my "thing" from God. I believe everyone has a "struggle" in life that brings them closer to God and this is mine. I'm praying that these two embryos are doing well inside and the thrive and grow into healthy babies.
3 years ago