Worry Wart

It was a normal day except I'm starting to be a worrier.
These are my worries for the day:
1. That I will catch swine flu and not be able to finish this IVF cycle....I know it's crazy!
2. That I will get some kind of other sickness and not be able to finish...I work around 4 year olds so it could happen...
3. I have had a small amount of brown spotting the last two days...is that okay??? If anyone knows please let me know!!
4. That when I go for retrieval there won't be any mature eggs.
5. That none of the eggs will fertilize.
6. That none of the eggs will make it to blastocyst.
7. That I won't finish everything at work before the end of the school year.

It feels a lot better to let it out!! Please say some prayers for us that this works out. I hope everyone had a wonderful Thursday.

Dr's Appointment

I had a doctor's appointment at 7:45 this morning. Everything went well. I had 4 follicles on the right and 5 on the left. All measured between 10-13. He wanted between 8-10 follicles so it was perfect. My doctor doesn't like to have you produce more than 10 because he doesn't want to risk OHSS. Also there wasn't really a "lead" follicle so that is GREAT!! My estrogen level was 249. I have to add Ganirelix to my injection tonight to keep my body from ovulating to early. I will go back Friday to see how it looks and schedule my retrieval!! It's getting close. I'm so excited. I hope and pray that everything continues to go well!! Please say some prayers for us.
My principal wanted me to take a 1/2 day off and go in at 11 so I went and had a massage!! I didn't want it to end. I needed it SOOO bad. That hour flew too fast. I then went to the Gap and to whole foods to pick up some lunch for my aide and I. I hope everyone had a wonderful day:)

Estrogen check

I had my estrogen checked at 7:30 this morning. It came back at 65. They said that is okay but they want to bump up my menopar to 150. So now I'm mixing 2 vials of Bravelle and 2 vials of Menopar. I'm hoping that's all I have to do because I really don't want to buy to much more medicine!! Everything else about today was pretty normal...just worked and now I'm home cooking supper. I'm about to go do Pilate's to distress!! I hope everyone had a wonderful Monday!

1st shot down...

Well I had my first injection yesterday. I didn't even have time to be nervous because I had to go to a wedding and I was late getting ready. I hurried up and mixed up the 3 vials and injected the shot myself. It didn't hurt at all. Shots have never bothered me so I think this is going to be a breeze....I hope;)
We had a lot of fun at the wedding. We got to see a lot of old friends that we hadn't seen in awhile. Today has been a regular old Saturday...cleaning house, grocery shopping, washing clothes. Brandon and I did go pick blackberries..YUM!! I also made banana bread. I have a really healthy recipe and I have been eating that for breakfast on the go. I hope everyone else is having a great weekend!!

Dr's Appointment

I had a doctor's appointment this morning. My doctor wasn't there but another Dr. was. I had an ultrasound to see if my ovaries were "silent" as she put it. They were basically making sure there were no cysts before I started taking shots. Everything looked good. I then had blood taken to test my estrogen level. It was less than 20 which is where it's suppose to be. Now I have to start taking shots on Friday (2 vials of bravelle and 1 of menopar). It's only 1 shot because I get to mix all the medicine so I'm very HAPPY about that!! I take them Friday, Saturday, and Sunday and then go back Monday morning to check estrogen levels. I will then know if I need to up the dosage. I also got to pay my fees today. They breakdown was....19,000 for the refund program, 1,250 for ICSI, and 450 for anesthesia on retrieval day!! I hope the first one works because I don't want to have to buy more medicine, pay for ICSI again, and another round of anesthesia. Everything is going good so far...I hope it continues!! I hope everyone is having a wonderful week!!

Last Birth Control Pill!!!

I'm sooo excited!! I just took my LAST birth control pill;) The countdown is on! I start stims in 5 days!! I am starting off with 150 of bravelle and 75 of menopar. I go to the doctor Wednesday to check my E2 level and have an ultrasound. My doctor won't be there so I hope all goes well. I hope everything looks fine so I can get started. I'm soo excited!

Let me tell you how crazy this birth control makes me. Friday, Brandon and I were having a nice night. We had dinner and then layed on the couch together and watched a movie. All is right in the world....until we went in the bedroom. I had washed the sheets that morning. I LOVE fresh sheets. Brandon didn't know this...he got in the bed and was acting all excited and was rolling around in the covers telling me to get in the bed. If I wouldn't have been crazy at the time..that would have been cute and romantic. Well I shouted at him..."That's FRESH sheets" "I've been looking forward to that ALL week" Then I busted out crying!!! Yes that's right..the maniac was CRYING!! He asked me why in the world I was crying because he didn't do anything wrong. I started to cry more. He told me I was being stupid....wrong answer. I was hysterical crying by that point. I went in the other room and cried and cried. I then went to bed mad. He made me breakfast in the morning....after the way I had acted!! When I told my friend the story I realized how crazy I had acted and I felt so bad for my husband!! I went home and apologized to him!! He just gave me a hug and then cooked me supper! Do I have a great husband or what??? He did tell me that when I start taking shots he is going to move in his office;) I hope my emotions don't get worse!!

I hope everyone had a great week!!

Trial Transfer

Well I had my trial transfer. It went GREAT!! It didn't hurt at all!! It felt kind of like a pap smear. The only thing that bothered me was my full bladder. When he pushed on my stomach I was so worried that I was going to pee all over him!! They also did a culture to make sure that my cervix/uterus was a good place for an embryo to live:) If it doesn't look good they prescribe antibiotics or whatever other medicine is needed. Sunday is my last day to take birth control!!! Then on Tuesday I go in for blood work and an ultrasound. Then next Friday I start stims!!! I'm sooo excited! We have a wedding to go to that day also.
After the doctor we went to Home Depot to get flowers and vegetables for our garden. Then I planted the flowers. After that I rode with Brandon to drop off a Hay Baler...that took around 2 hours. When I got home I cut the grass, watered the flowers, blew off the driveway, washed clothes, and I'm in the process of straightening up the house before my parents come for supper. I also have to cook supper...so I better get off the computer!!
I almost forget to tell ya'll what happen last night. Since I teach prek we are required to have at least 2 class pets. We have a hamster and a fish. I have to bring them home whenever we have a holiday. Well Brandon took the hamster out last night. At 5:00 this morning I had a really loud sound. I thought it was the hamster playing and I got really mad!! I got up to close the door to the room he was in...when I opened the door I heard that it was coming from the living room. I got really nervous but I didn't want to wake up Brandon. I put on my glasses and walked slowly to the living room. Then I turned around to go look in the hamster's cage. The door was open to his cage!! I stopped being nervous and went back to the living room. I turned on the light and saw the hamster under the couch. He was dragging a sticky mouse trap!!! We live close to a field so we leave out a mouse trap just in case one ever gets in. I was so scared for him! I ran to the bedroom and scared Brandon to death when I called his name. I thought for sure the hamster was going to die. I went in the bed and put the covers over my head;) Brandon went to him and saved his life!! He was only stuck on his back leg and hair so he was able to free him!! Can you believe that. That's why I don't have pets inside my house....too much drama:)

Answering some ??'s about my last post...

I had a few questions about my last post...
1. A trial transfer or "mock" transfer is when the doctor "pretends" he is going to transfer the embryos. They do it because everyone's uterus/cervix measures differently and they want to make sure they put the embryos back in the right place. So basically they are just measuring you. It's just another thing they do to help ensure that they everything goes right.

2. Thanks for commenting about my "yummy food". I LOVE to cook. I wanted to be a chef but they work when everyone else is off having fun....so I cook for the people I love!! My husband really loves it!!

3. My tentative embryo transfer is May 5th. This depends on how my ovaries react to the medicine. My tentative day 5 transfer is May 10th (Mother's Day)...I really think that is a GOOD sign. Don't you?? :) I start stims next Friday (April 24th). The rest depends on how my ovaries treat me!! I'm hoping they react good and everything goes as planned!! Say some prayers for us please!!!

Well I'm off to....can you guess....yes, cook supper....beef stir fry and lo mien. I really love Chinese but I need to lose a few pounds so I'm cooking it myself so I can make it healthier:)

Trial Transfer Tomorrow

I've been enjoying my week off for spring break...the joys of being a teacher;) Today we have been working in the yard; weeding flower beds so we can plant new flowers tomorrow. Tomorrow at 9:15 I am having my trial transfer. If anyone has had one...did it hurt?? I have had 4 IUI's but my cervix was always open. Since it won't be open tomorrow, I am worried that it is going to hurt!! After the appointment we are going buy flowers. Then coming home to plant them. That night I am going to make chicken Parmesan and my parents are coming over. I hope all is well and everyone is having a wonderful week:)

Happy Easter

Happy Easter everyone!! I hope everyone has a wonderful day tomorrow and enjoys being with their families:)

I don't have much to write about. I went to my injection class last Wednesday. It wasn't bad at all. Brandon had already showed me how to mix injections...since he does that for a living. I wrote that in a blog before but I'm not sure who read it so I will say it again. Brandon is an "RE" for cows. He gives them shots to stimulate their ovaries and then either AI's them (IUI to us) and they get pregnant with one calf or he really stimulates their ovaries AI's them and then "flushes" them (retrieves the embryos). They then transfer the embryos to other cows or freeze them. So I have been watching him mix the injections for the cows. The amazing thing is that it's almost the same medicine that I am going to use except in lower dosages:) If you want to know more about Brandon's job you can look back at a post entitles "Brandon". Anyway...I went off on a tangent. The injection class went well. I'm not sure why I had to pay $60 for someone to teach me how to mix shots....but anyway!!

I just finished making pasta salad and cupcakes for tomorrow. I am about to make supper (chicken with rice and gravy, bread, and green beans). Tomorrow I have to make a salad and homemade macaroni and cheese before I go to church. Then we are going to Brandon's grandma's (mom's mom) for lunch and his dad's mom's for supper. My mom and dad have headed to Memphis to spend Easter with my brother who is in medical school there. I hope everyone has a great night and a wonderful Easter!! ((HUGS))

Blog Award

Well I was nominated for my first blogger award:) I was nominated by Kami. Please visit her blog and give her some love. She is testing today to see if her embryo transfer worked!! I was about to repost this and was nominated again by Tiffany. The funny thing is I was going to nominate Tiffany also:)

Rules of The Sisterhood Award:
1. Put the logo on your blog or post.
2. Nominate 10 blogs with great attitude and/or gratitude.
3. Be sure to link to your nominees in your post.
4. Let your nominees know they have received the award by leaving them a comment on their blog.
5. Be sure to link this post to the person who nominated you for the award

It is hard to nominate just 10 people. I am going to nominate the people who have always been there for me. They have given me advice, prayed for us, and lifted me up when I needed it most. Thank you so much ladies!! I couldn't do this IF stuff with out you:)

1. Beth - Beth was my first ever blogger
friend:)
2. Erin
3. Carrie
4. Dianne
5. Just another infertiAlity blog (she is really great but for some reason....I don't know her name;)
6. Amber
7. Melody
8. Stacey
9. Krisy
10. Elaine

Please visit their blogs and give them some love!!!

Video

My blogger friend Tiffany (The Pifer Family) posted this video today and I thought it was pefect so I'm going to post it too...

http://www.tearsandhope.com/

Thanks

Thanks to everyone who commented on my last blog. Your comments really meant a lot. They were exactly what I had been feeling all day. My mom and Brandon both said that a "GOOD" doctor wouldn't try to steal someone else's business. Brandon said that he is only saying that because he is young and cocky;) He said our doctor has been doing this for a long time and is backed by the hospital. That we should trust in him. I looked their statistics up on the website that Carrie commented about and his rates werent' 85% they were 40%. This was 2007 but still!! Thanks again!! I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

????

HI!! I need some comfort from my blogger friends;) One of my good friends called last night. She is also an IF girl. She has gone through 2 miscarriages and found out she has a blood clotting disorder. Well she had an appointment with her RE yesterday. He works at a brand new FERTILITY INSTITUTE that had just opened when we started going to our RE. We went to our RE because he is WELL known where we live and Brandon's stepmom used to work for him. Well my friend was talking to her RE asking if they should try IVF. She told him about us and how we were about to start trying and if it would be a better option for them. Well he said that he knew our doctor and his clinic is going to one day make our doctor go out of business because their technology is stat-of-the-art. He said they have the highest success rates in the country- 85% success rate on first IVF. He told her that he would love to see us and told her he would give us a consult for free. UGGHH!!!! I was so excited about my IVF procedure and now I have that in the back of my mind. Brandon is away at drill so I can't talk to him about it. I know he would say that we need to trust our doctor. We are already in this IVF cycle and have committed to the refund program so I know that we aren't going to change doctors. I just wish I didn't have that other doctor's success rates in the back of my mind. I need reassurance girls:)

Dr's Consultation

I had a relaxing day today since I didn't have to go to work. My principal told me to take the whole day off since my appointment was in the middle of the school day. We slept till 7:30 (I had been looking forward to this all week), then I made french toast and bacon....YUMMY!! Our appointment was at 10:00. We had a consultation with our RE, his "intern", and the embryologist. We had never met the embryologist before. He was very nice. They explained ever detail of IVF. The embryo guy showed us pictures as he explained it to us. He showed us what the embryos look like on different days. He said they would rather do a day 5 transfer with blastocysts. The like to have 8-10 eggs on retrieval day. He said some doctors give a lot of medicine to get more eggs but you risk over stimulation. They told us we have a 5 0% chance of it working the first time, 75% the 2nd time, and 85% the 3rd time. Each time there is a 30% chance of twins and a 5% chance that one of the eggs will split. He said if it doesn't work the first time we will grieve about it and then sit down and see what we need to do differently...if anything. Now we have a bunch of papers that we have to go through and sign. Our next appointment is Wednesday for an injection class. I'm sooo ready to get the show on the road! Please pray that this works for us:)