Asking for more prayers

I'm asking for more prayers. Yesterday I had some brown spotting. I called the clinic but they were closed so I left a message. This morning when I wiped it was pinkish and a little brown followed. They called and told me to try not to worry because my numbers have been really good. They said that it could be from implantation bleeding or the progesterone inserts are hitting my cervix and making it bleed. They said the cervix is really delicate right now. I'm praying that nothing is wrong!! Please pray for us!

Babies,

Please grow healthy and strong. Your mommy and daddy want you so bad. Snuggle in tight and hang on...you only have 34 weeks to go.

love,
mama

Summer/Prayers

Today was our LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!! I'm off for 10 weeks!!! YAY!!! I'm sooooo excited!! Please pray for my friend Amanda who is being induced on Tuesday. Also please keep praying for our ultrasound to go good on Wednesday!! We need all the prayers we can get;)

Please pray for Dana she is living her worst nightmare. Her ultrasound today showed that her baby hasn't been growing. That is my biggest fear and my heart is breaking for her! Please pray for T and Wanting Waiting and Praying for OUr Miracle they received negative betas after IVF. My heart breaks for them. Also pray for Kami who is waiting to see if her 2nd IVF worked.

3rd Beta 17dp5dt

Well I went to the doctor this morning at 7:45. I was SOOO nervous. They said they would call with the results. The time ticked by so slowly. I was so nervous because they have been calling me by 9:00. At 11:00 I was eating lunch for the last time with my class. The phone rang and I went outside. They said your results were good. I said I was so worried watching the time tick by. They said my beta was 2,481 and that was good. She said that my RE wanted to see me at 6 weeks for my ultrasound which is June 3rd at 8:30. PRAISE GOD!!! Keep on praying girls...another milestone down...more to go!! I hope everyone has a great day!!gu

Pray;)

Not much has been going on. It's the last week of school and I'm so happy because I'm sooo tired!! I've taken a nap everyday this week after work. Other than that I've just been very HUNGRY. Brandon has been making fun of me because I've been eating so much (not in a mean way;) I'm so ready to be SICK though so I know that nothing is wrong...isn't that crazy!! Tomorrow I have another blood test. Please send some prayers this way that it will be good!! I hope everyone is having a great week.

Worry, Worry, Worry

I had always heard of people with IF worrying after they got pregnant. I told myself that I would worry a little but not much. Well IF has really done something to me. Since I found out I was pregnant...all I do is WORRY!! I really need to stay busy today because yesterday I didn't do much and I worried ALL day. I keep praying that everything go okay and for some of the worry to go away. For others who have been through this...what did you do to stop worrying so much??

2nd Beta

My beta today was 191. They said that was good. I was a LITTLE worried because it was 14 away from doubling. I go back next Thursday to check it again. Please keep praying for us!!! I hope everyone has a wonderful Friday!!

BETA RESULTS

Have I kept you in suspense long enough???? The nurse called my phone at around 8:30 this morning. I was out of the classroom so I didn't check it until around 9. When I did I thought she sounded kind of "down". I got so worried. I decided not to call since I was at work. Three hours later around 12 I texted Brandon and told him to call because I was too nervous. He texted me back and said the nurse was at lunch. I said okay. I then went to the office to talk to my principal. I hear Brandon asking the secretary for me. I was in SHOCK that he was at school. I told him to wait a minute while I finished talking to the principal. I then went outside to talk to him. He said "I have some bad news". I said "WHAT"!!! He said "It's going to be hard work being a MOM". All I kept saying was are you SERIOUS!!! I must have asked him about 30 times. We kissed and hugged and then we both had to go back to work. I think it's SOOO neat that he found out before me;) My beta results were 105. I go back tomorrow to see if they doubled. Please say some prayers.
I didn't blog about this earlier because my mom, MIL, and SIL all read this blog and I didn't want them to find out like that. Brandon and I have been running the roads telling all our family. WE ARE THRILLED. I'm very happy, I'm in AWE, I'm nervous, and I'm Thankful, and I'M GOING TO PRAISE GOD TILL I"M BLUE IN THE FACE:)
Thanks to everyone who kept my spirits up when I was spotting!!! I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!

Preparing for the worst...

Well I am preparing for the worst. About 4 hours ago I had a some light pink blood on my pantyliner. I called my doctor and they told me not to worry about it until it got heavy...not to worry...how do they expect me to do that??? I am going in tomorrow after school to do my beta. They won't have the results until Wednesday because they lab will be closed by the time I get there. I hoping that it's no big deal....praying that it doesn't mean anything. If it does mean that it is a BFN I have already talked to God and asked him to make me strong. Please pray for me girls. Pray that if it can't be a BFP that I am strong and patient while I wait for God's plan.

God has a plan

I've been up since 6:15 and its SATURDAY!! I was laying in bed not sleeping and talking to God. I asked him to please watch over my little embryos and help them to grow into healthy babies. I also asked him that if they do not....please give me the strength and the courage to get through this. I know God has a plan for me and I should not be afraid of what tomorrow holds. I love this verse "Glory be to God who by his mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we could ever dare to ask or even dream of." Ephesians 3:20
I've been waiting to tell ya'll a story about one of my wonderful friends. She followed a similar path as me. She is a faithful IF warrior;) She went to the same RE as I do. She had 3 IUI's and they were unsuccessful. These BFN's caused her so much disappointment and heartache that she decided not to do it anymore. She couldn't put herself through the stress of all the medicines, schedules, doctor's appointments, etc just to be disappointed again. She decided that it must not be in God's plan for her to have a baby. She decided that they would enjoy life together and be satisfied with the love they share. She means so much to me because I can go to her and she knows exactly what I'm going through. She has a heart of GOLD. A couple of weeks ago she came to me and asked how my IVF cycle was going and told me that God has a plan for all of us and we have to trust in him. She then told me that she was PREGNANT!! She had given up on that path in life and God had turned her back around;) She told me that she was still very worried because this was so unexpected. She is now 10 weeks and still doing well. Her story gives me so much hope and courage. It makes me truly believe that we don't have control over our life....GOD holds the reigns!!
I'm not feeling "pregnant" so I've been a little worried. I just have to keep reminding myself of my friend and believing that God knows the way that I need to travel. Please send some prayers my way and to my friend that she has a successful pregnancy.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Saturday.

A little sad...

Well 2 of my blogger friends: mary and carrie are always talking about how they feel like Wemberly Worried...it's a popular children's book. In the book Wemberly worries about EVERYTHING. I think i'm also starting to be a Wemberly. All night I was worried about how I was laying in bed and if it would hurt the embryos, etc. I'm even more worried now because my doctor's office called and said my remaining 2 embryos did not make it to freeze. That's so disappointing!!! Does that mean that the 2 they implanted wouldn't have made it either?? I keep telling myself that God is going to lead me through this and he has an ultimate plan for me that I don't know about just yet. PLease send some prayers my way...I don't want to have to go through all this again. ((HUGS))

Day 5 Transfer

At 8:00 this morning we arrived at the doctor. The took us back and instructed me to take my Valium. Then we went into the consultation room and my RE and the embryologist came in to talk to us. They showed us what our embryos looked like on day 1 when they first fertilized. Then they showed us that they were almost all exactly the same on Day 3 at 8 cells. Then they showed us what they looked like this morning. One looked "awesome"...it was an overachiever. It was textbook quality. There were two more that were "almost" to that stage and would probably be there by tonight. Our final embryo was running a little behind but they said they wouldn't give up on it. The told us they would implant the best one and pick one of the other two that looked great. I asked if they were going to freeze the other two and they said they would know in the morning if they both made it or if just one did.

The nurse then took us to the recovery room and I put on my gown and Brandon put on his scrubs. They then covered me with warm blankets and we went to the surgical room. It was a little awkward since I was awake this time. The nurses strapped my legs in to these really high stirrups...much higher than the ones I'm used to. The washed me with soap...very COLD and got me all sterile;) Then the embryologist came in with the embryos in a "baby" incubator so that all the tools and embryos would remain sterile. Next came in the doctor. The embryologist asked if Brandon wanted to look at the embryos in the microscope..that got him excited. When he sat back down by my head I told him "Isn't this Romantic??"...I never thought this is how I would be making a baby;) The then put the embryos in and showed them to me on the ultrasound machine. The RE said he was going to drain my bladder so I didn't have to get up for awhile...I'm not sure how he did this because it didn't hurt. Next they wheeled me to recovery and told me I needed to lay down for 30 minutes. The nurse came in and explained my discharge information...take it easy for the rest of the day, no exercise for awhile etc. I asked her why they don't prescribe bed rest after today and she said that was an "old school" way of doing things and my doctor likes to keep up with the times. That is one reason he doesn't prescribe PIO injections and gives endometrian inserts instead.
I am taking it really easy today. I took a nap and now I'm laying on the couch. Since I don't have a "sit down" job I'm going to take tomorrow off too but I am going back Wednesday. Now comes the wait. All I can do is relax and pray. God has brought me this far...I have to believe he will carry me through no matter what the outcome. I hope everyone had a wonderful day;)

3 day report on embryos

It's been so long since I cried tears of joy. When you are going through IF most tears are of sadness and disappointment. At 8:30 this morning I cried tears of joy when the clinic called me and told me my embryo report. They need to be between 6 and 8 cells to be "okay" at this stage. When they checked our four embabies they are all at state 8!!! Which is AWESOME!!! I was so nervous this morning that they were going to call me and none were going to be alive. I fell to my knees and praised God. He truly is WONDERFUL. We are now going to do a Day 5 transfer on Monday at 8:30. Please continue to pray for us!! We need all the prayers that we can get. Have a wonderful Saturday!!

Fertilization Report/100th Post

Well this is my 100th post...I wish I had better news...but I guess it could be worse!! I got the fertilization report about 1:00 because they called when I was at work and I didn't hear the phone. She said that out of the 8 eggs they retrieved 6 were mature. They did ICSI on those 6 and 4 are now in petri dishes. I know it could be worse but those numbers are so frustrating. Now I know why IUI's weren't working if only half the eggs were viable. I'm so nervous that something is going to happen to those 4. I'm praying that they all make it and we can transfer 2 and freeze 2. Please say some prayers for us!! They will look at them on Saturday and let me know if I"m doing a 3 day or 5 day transfer. I"m hoping for a 5 day since the rates are supposedly better. If anyone could send some extra prayers my way I would appreciate it;)

I went to work today. It wasn't too bad. At first I was in slow motion...but 4 and 5 year olds will take care of that;) I started my edometrium inserts today and I do not like them!! They don't make me feel bad but the whole thing kind of grosses me out!! But I will use them for 9 months if it helps me have a baby!!
Please go give my friend at RES COGITATAE some love she got her fertilization report today. Also my friend at GOOD EGG HUNTING had her fertilization report yesterday.
I HOPE EVERYONE HAD A WONDERFUL DAY!!

Egg Retrieval

Well I had my egg retrieval this morning. We got there at 7:30. The were really busy so it took them a minute to take me back. At about 7:45 they took me to the recovery room and I put on a hospital gown. They then put me in a surprisingly comfortable bed and gave me an IV with an antibiotic and water bag. The anesthesiologist came and introduced herself. She was so cute and petite!! I then layed their and talked to Brandon. At 8:20 they came in and said my RE was running a little late on the clinic side of the office. This has been a VERY busy IVF cycle because they have 32 women. It amazes me because they also have to perform IUI's, ultrasounds, etc on other patients. At 8:40 the anesthesiologist and my nurse wheeled me to the operating room. Brandon kissed me goodbye!! When I got in there I was transferred to another table and the anesthesiologist explained that she was inserting some medicine in my IVF that would put me to sleep. That's ALL I remember!! The next thing I remember was two nurses were waking me up. I was in a DEAD sleep. I felt so out of it!! I did have to go to the bathroom really badly though so Brandon and the nurse helped me to walk there. I felt so shaky and unstable. I got back and layed down. Brandon told me that the doctor had come to him and told him that they retrieved 8 great looking eggs. My RE wanted 8-10 so he achieved his goal. He doesn't like to get more than that because you have a great chance of OHSS and no great chance of pregnancy. He says smaller numbers are usually better quality. I hope he's right!! It took me around 20 minutes to feel more normal again. I had to use the bathroom again...that IVF really went through me. Brandon helped me that time and said I was walking much better. A few minutes later the nurse came and explained my discharge information. I have to take antibiotics and Medrol (suppresses inflammation) for 4 days. Tomorrow I go back to taking baby aspirin and start my progesterone inserts.
After we left the doctor's office we got something to eat because I was starving! We got home about 11:15 and layed down to watch a movie. We got through about 15 minutes of the movie and then fell asleep. We got up at 3. Brandon had to go do some work but my parents are going to come visit me about 5. I'm just laying on the couch relaxing. I hope everyone has a wonderful day!!

Retrieval Time Set

I went to the doctor this morning and had another ultrasound and blood work done. My veins are so mad at me!! My ultrasound looked good and my estrogen level is 1,549. I have to take my novarel (trigger shot) at 10:30 tonight. Tomorrow I go in for more blood work to see if my body absorbed the shot. Then my retrieval is set for Wednesday at 8:30!!! I can't believe it is in 2 days!!! Please pray that we get good quality eggs and they fertilize well!! I'm going do pilates to relieve some of this stress. My body is worn out from all of this. The shots don't really bother me but the driving 45 minutes each way to get to the doctor is killing me!! I hope everyone had a wonderful Monday morning!!

Dr's Appointment/Tentative Egg Retrieval

I had a doctor's appointment this morning at 8:00. It was sooo hard for me to wake up at 6:15 on a Sunday!! I had my ultrasound and my follicles were measuring around 17. My RE told me that I would probably take 2 more days of stims and go back Tuesday for another ultrasound and have egg retrieval on Thursday. I was suppose to have it on Tuesday but my little follies are taking longer to grow;) When I called to get my Estrogen level it was 1083 so they told me to come back in tomorrow morning for another ultrasound and estrogen check and my retrieval would probably be on Wednesday!! It keeps changing. No matter what my transfer won't be on Mother's Day since it has been pushed back. I was a little upset because I thought that was such a good sign...but I shouldn't worry about signs because after every IUI I thought it would be the perfect time and it didn't work so I'm leaving it in God's hands!! He knows the best time!! I hope that we have enough to freeze so that if it doesn't work we will be able to do a FET cycle. Please say some prayers!!
Yesterday I went to one of my best friends baby showers. There was a girl there that did IVF and is now carrying triplets. They put back 2 embryos and 1 split. There was also a girl there pregnant with twins...i'm not sure if she went through infertility or not. It was reassuring though!
Today after my appointment I went to my parents and ate breakfast. Then we went to church, came home, ate lunch, took naps;), ate cheesecake, and relaxed. Now I'm at home and I'm going spend some time with Brandon. I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!!

Dr's Appointment

I had a doctor's appointment this morning. My ultrasound showed 10 follicles ranging from 8-14. I was expecting them to be a little bigger but my doctor said that was okay. My estrogen level was 520. I go back on Sunday for another checkup to see when I'm going to take the HCG shot and schedule retrieval. This is wearing me out!!! When I got to school I felt so EXHAUSTED:) I'm so glad it's Friday and I can sleep late tomorrow and not have to rush to get to the doctor. When I got home I took an hour nap and it felt so good. Brandon has drill this weekend so he left at 5:30. My brother came home for a week so I went to meet him and my parents for dinner. He lives in Memphis because he is going to optometry school there. He just finished and now has to complete his internships. He passed his boards so I'm soooo proud of him!! In a few months I will have a brother that is a doctor;) Since I was at my parents when it was time to do my shot, my brother wanted to mix it and give it to me. He did a great job. It hurt even less than when I do it myself. I wish he was here everyday!! Well I'm going take a bath and relax. I hope everyone has a great weekend!