Hospital Visit

Warning..this may be a TMI post. Yesterday around 7:30 I felt blood. I checked my pantyliner and sure enough it had bright red blood on it. I got home and went to the bathroom and it was A LOT. It made the toilet water red again (like the first time 6 weeks ago). I had to wipe A LOT to not see anymore blood. I showed Brandon and he told me not to worry. I started crying anyway and called my friend to see if I could use her doppler. She brought it right over and was crying as she handed it to me (GREAT FRIEND). We found the heartbeat but I still felt anxious. A few minutes later I went to the bathroom again and it was the exact same thing. I called Brandon and for the first time in this pregnancy he looked a little worried. He called his stepmom who works at the Woman's hospital and she said it was probably the clot but we could go in if we wanted. Brandon said lets go because I know you will be a nervous wreck if we don't. We headed over there. It felt like the longest 45 minutes of my life!! She had called the center so they took us right back with out waiting!! The put me in a room and I changed into a gown. They told me to put my old pad in the garbage so the doctor could see it. They then gave me this huge pad to put between my legs..which is kind of hard when they tell you not to wear underwear!
I then got in the bed and the nurse came and checked all my vitals and asked me routine questions. She then left and came back saying the doctor wanted her to check and see if my cervix was closed. She checked and it was...huge sigh of relieve. The doctor then came in and talked about my subcorinic hematoma and said it was probably that. She said that she would have been worried also and she would have come in too. She said I'm a mama now and the worry will never stop. She told me not to feel bad about coming in because anyone else would have done the same thing. That made me feel really good.
A few minutes later someone came and got me for ultrasound. The ultrasound tech found the baby right away and said " I have a lot to look at but I want you to see the baby so that you have piece of mind." It was so fabulous seeing that beating heartbeat. I wanted to jump off the table and get on my knees and praise God. She then turned the screen and only she and Brandon could see. She was trying to measure the heartbeat but the baby was moving around too much. Brandon looked so excited. He said the legs and arms were moving up and down and then the head was moving. He must have gotten tired because he settled down enough for her to measure the heartbeat which was 163. The baby also measured 11w 1 day. She then took awhile to look at everything else..ovaries, cervix, etc.
I then went back to my room and waited for the doctor to come back. She came and explained that I did still have the hematoma. She said that I would definitely bleed more and it would be bright red so not to worry. She said she was worried about the fact that I'm still on baby aspirin and that could be making it worse. She told to ask my OB about it Friday when I go in. She told me that sometimes hematomas resolve themselves by 13 or 14 weeks and sometimes they last the whole pregnancy!! I sure hope not!! Brandon said if that's the case can we just keep some spare clothes at the hospital;) She then released us and gave me some papers for my OB on Friday.
That was the most frightened I've been the whole pregnancy! Everyone says "Don't worry"! They can say that because they aren't living with this all the time. They aren't scared every time they go to the bathroom. They haven't been through so much heartache to get pregnant. They don't have their WHOLE heart and all their dreams invested into something so precious. They haven't watched their baby grow every week on ultrasounds and have such a fear that they wouldn't see that baby again. I know you girls understand...you have lived that same worry. Thanks for listening..sorry this post was so long;)
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